Lauren!

Birthplace- 'In a backyard cottage in downtown Berkeley, California.'

Ambitions- 'To have an alphabet of letters after my name.'

Turn-ons- ' Hot chicks. Nipples. Daddy. A gentle touch while tying the ropes and blindfold. Turn on red, after stop. Braces on 15 year old boys.'

Turn-offs- 'Sweat. Body hair. Stupidity. Lack of self-confidence. Being tickled. '

You wish you had- 'A Russian mail-order bride. A harem. A midget. One billion dollars. A firing squad. Three more wishes.'

Weakness- 'Super-Crack. Kryptonite. Deep tissue massage to my neck and shoulders.'

Your Philosophy- 'Silence means yes. Especially when you're talking to a hot chick. '

Your New Year's Resolution?- 'I don't have to explain myself.'

Favorite trash film- ' Desperate Living. Tromeo and Juliet. The Blair Thumb - the Insane Audio Commentary is too funny.'

Favorite trash film about Dope Fiends- 'Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke. Frankenhooker. Suburbia. Friday. '

Your favorite kind of vegetable?- 'Depends on what I intend to do with it.'

What freaks you out?- 'Blue M&M's. Too much plastic surgery. The Kansas School Board. George W. Bush.'

Favorite Saying-- 'I have a set of standard answers, which may or may not actually answer your question. Either way, I don't care, but you'll often hear me answering questions in the following manner:
Who? Your momma. Your daddy. Or, Your greasy granny.
What? Chicken butt.
Where? Up your butt. Or, On the Internet.
When? 11:30.
Why? For safety. Or, For fun and profit. (Cause no one likes it to be For cancer.)

El Tigre Diablo or Francois Fly?-'El Tigre Diablo, fo'sho'! He's devilishly animalistic..'

Can you state for a fact that Mr. Lobo is a werewolf?- ' I can say with all certainty that he is a wolf, but that's all I can say. But, if you tell anyone I said that, I'll say you're lying.'